Readers... please don’t go into shock, real or staged!
That mug staring out from the side of this column is, indeed, me, an older, hopefully wiser me than represented by the photo which went immediately before it.
Under some duress, I finally had to agree with the editor it was time to replace the previous shot, which graced "Gab" for most of the past decade.
By the way, ever notice that the editor’s picture is never attached to anything in this paper? He has obviously figured out that, when you start publishing your photo along with your articles, the time will eventually come to update it, acknowledging to all and sundry that, yes, you’ve aged.
Why didn’t I figure that out?
Actually, I don’t really worry about aging and didn’t spend much time considering the accuracy of the former photo. I thought of it as timeless... until I started getting razzed about it.
"Hey Tom! Who’s the young lad in that picture they run in the paper?" some of the boys guffawed.
As for women, they stepped up and kindly mentioned, as if speaking to a somewhat senile senior citizen, that they didn’t recognize me in real life when compared to the photo. Didn’t I think it was time to reveal the tragic truth, to get beyond my "David Cassidy phase"?
I thought this but didn’t say it: Isn’t it more important to make sure the information running with the photo is accurate and timely? I guess not.
So there you have it, tangible proof that someone toiling as an agricultural scribe in Eastern Ontario for a given period of time is going to be rewarded with some wrinkles and some grey hair.
Then there are those other bits and pieces which don’t quite work as well as they used to but which we don’t have to discuss in any detail here.
Some people not in the know think it’s a picnic writing about agriculture with its cute animals, attractive plants, quaint outbuildings, and sexy machinery.
But we in the news business - including farm news - don’t focus on the cute and the sexy. We focus on the bad stuff. No wonder we tend to get more grey hair quicker than average Canadians, a statistic, by the way, that I just made up to satisfy those who insist reporters never get our facts straight.
Grey hair? One issue alone over the past decade was enough to do it, the ongoing saga of Seaway Valley Farmers’ Energy Co-Operative’s trying to secure an ethanol plant for Cornwall. On again, off again, back, forth, up, down, sideways... this misadventure is enough to age anybody by a couple of extra years. Just ask former co-op president Bud Atkins.
And what about BSE? What could be more aging for anyone in agriculture than that two-year fiasco? Border closed, about to open, about to close... who knows? Ask any Canadian beef farmer about the BSE-accelerated aging process.
And the endless antics of MOE, harassing Lanark and Renfrew sawmill operators, insisting the same wood chips they stockpile which are spread on public paths and along provincial highways are hazardous industrial waste, which must be removed at tremendous expense.
About two weeks ago, MOE tried the same stunt with OMYA Canada Inc., trying to convince a court hearing that the company’s liquid calcium carbonate used as additives in such products as toothpaste and paint was hazardous waste. The ministry and its charges got tossed out of court (See editorial opposite with no photo attached).
And the power struggle between the Lanark Landowners Association and the OFA? Ron Bonnett, president of the OFA, could tell you something about quick-aging on that one.
And the Nutrient Management Act? Trying to conform to it as large livestock operators are trying to do right now! Just ask North Gower dairyman Ed Schouten. He can tell about grey hair. He can tell you about tearing out some hair.
And the quick-change of OMAF - or is that OMAFRA - ministers over the past decade, with many of them barely getting a chance to get their feet wet in the portfolio. More grey hair and wrinkles for all concerned. Even that recurring OMAF-or-OMAFRA thing is taking its toll.
And genetically-modified foods, farm safety, high-priced milk quotas... these are all hairy issues... grey hairy issues!
So next time you’re feeling the pain of an industry facing all of that adversity, spare a tear for the humble agricultural reporters who live the pain through osmosis every day.
That’s how this reporter morphed from young lad into aging pundit in one short decade.